Just Enjoy the Beer, Goddamnit; Or, the Silence of the Mustard

Okay, this is the best thing I've read all day. (No surprise that it came from Alan McLeod.) (Besides, what's not to like about the word "twee"?) (Plus, I love mustard and am falling out of my chair over the notion of contemplating its silence, to say nothing of pain.) And I had exactly the same reaction to the "money quote":

“Be analytical,” she says. “We don’t care if you like it or not.”

Huh? I'm with Alan: Don't taste your beer near me. (And, no, I'm not gonna bother to be as polite as he and say "please.") Silent mustard, indeed. Ptooey.

Enjoy a Martini and Go . . . Green?

I love The Big Money, if only for its consistently acerbic wit (to say nothing of its content value). (Hell. Did I just use the word "content" to refer to a source of information? Ugh.)

Anyway, I just read this entertaining take on a pitch from a spirits manufacturer. For all I know, the whole thing was an elaborate April Fool's gag, but it's still worth reading. And of course if it's not a gag, that makes the whole thing even, well, weirder.

Now: off to enjoy some spirits (bourbon, thank you very much) and savor the fruits of today's labors (those, ahem,  images [rss icon and poster for "Beer Wars"] in the left-hand sidebar). Holy maloley, I may get the hang of this new blogging platform!

Speaking of Microbrewing Pioneers . . .

Which I did yesterday when I reported Jack's accident. (*1) Jay Sheveck, mastermind behind Beer Guppy Multimedia, is creating a video documentary about early craft brewing. You can learn more about the project at  his site and at his Facebook page. (*2) And here's a direct link to the film trailer: Microbrewing Pioneers (trailer) NOTE: the trailer opens with about 15 seconds of black screen.

_____________

*1: No news as of this writing. His sister is keeping me posted.

*2: And speaking of Facebook, yesterday I took the plunge. (Frankly have already had it with technical crap this week, so the rss issue will have to wait.)

Please Send Prayers (Or Whatever) for Jack McAuliffe.

I just learned that Jack McAuliffe, pioneer microbrewer, was in a serious car accident. He's in intensive care, on a ventilator, in a Las Vegas hospital. I got the news from Don Barkley, who called me to see if I could find Jack's daughter. (Which I've done and she's getting details from the hospital.) I will post more as information becomes available.

In the Kitchen: Fake Indian Spinach and Chicken

I have no idea where or when I originally found the basis of this recipe. It's evolved over the years and I think it's the result of cobbling together two separate recipes. You could leave out the chicken, or substitute firm tofu, or, as I sometimes do, use both chicken and tofu. (A little protein overdose never hurt anyone.) This is incredibly good as leftovers. Amazing how often I hear its voice in my refrigerator saying "Have a spoonful of me! Just one spoonful!"

• 2 T. vegetable oil
• 2. T. ghee or butter
• 4 peppercorns
• 4 whole cloves
• to taste: cayenne, fennel seeds, whole cardamom, garam masala*
• 2 onions, diced
• generous tablespoon of diced ginger
• 1 T. tomato paste
• 3-4 cloves of garlic, minced
• 1/2 boneless skinless chicken breast, but in half-inch pieces
• 1 box frozen spinach, thawed (obviously use fresh if you prefer)
• 1/4 c. yogurt

_______________

I cook this in my ancient Atlas wok (one of those 20-pound steel monsters with the wooden handle), but you can use any kind of large pan.

Heat oil until very hot. Add the ghee or butter. If you use butter, pay heed. It will start to foam and brown almost instantly. That's the point of using ghee (which I never do): it has a higher "burn" temperature than butter.

Add the spices and stir for about 30 seconds.  Add the onion and ginger. Cook these slowly over medium heat for about 15 minutes until the onion is caramelized. (It will seem like too much onion, and too long a cooking time. Trust me, it's not and it's not. The onions are what give this dish its body.)

Add the garlic and cook a minute or two. Add the tomato paste and stir and cook a few minutes.  Add the chicken and cook five or six minutes.  Add the spinach, and salt and pepper. Toss with a large fork to mix. Cook another three or four minutes.  

Add the yogurt and a bit of water. Cover and cook for 15 or 20 minutes (or whatever). Toward the end, I usually take the lid off and cook several minutes to let some of the liquid evaporate.

* I make my own garam masala. You can find a recipe anywhere. But you can also buy it ready-made.

Wanna Be A Paperback Writer? (Paaaperback WRIIIterrrrrr)

"Dear sir or madam will you take a look?" (Headline to this blog entry my attempt to write the chorus the way it's sung.)

David Nygren came up with what he calls a nutty idea a few weeks ago: Writing a novel using an excel spreadsheet. But the more he thought about it and the more other, equally nutty people thought about it, the better it sounded. So he created a system for doing so. You can see it here.

As McCartney and Lennon said: It's a thousand pages, give or take a few, I'll be writing more in a week or two. I can make it longer if you like the style, I can change it round but I want to be a paperback writer, Paperback writer.