What I Wish For In 2009

No, not world peace, harmony, and the disappearance of Sarah Palin, Britney Spears, and Paris Hilton. Well, I do wish for those things, but . . . . I'll settle for something simpler: I wish bloggers everywhere would understand that ain't no one gonna read their Great Thoughts unless those Great Thoughts are presented in a format that is easy on the eyes. (*1)

That means:

1. NO TEXT ON A BLACK BACKGROUND. NONE. ZIPPO. NADA. No brown, orange, or textured backgrounds. White only, please! (*2)

2. Text in black only. Not red, pink, orange, or, god forbid, yellow. Black. Preferably in a basic font. That gothic-y, script-like stuff is hard to read. Plus it's ugly. (Font size isn't a problem. If it's too small, I just hit the control and + keys to enlarge the screen image.)

3. Paragraphs that are only a couple of sentences long. (Yes, I realize that a paragraph is supposed to be at least three sentences long and express a single coherent idea, but on a computer monitor, paragraphs of more than 2-3 sentences are hard to read.)

4. Bare minimum, one line between paragraphs.

Like this.

5. Screen layouts that are, ya know, readable. That means that your column width should be, at most, a half screen wide. It's almost impossible to read a column of text that runs from one side of the screen to the other. Do these things, and I will read. Otherwise, one visit, and I'm outta there.

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*1: Yes, adding a blog to my rss feed solves many of these problems. I use the Google Reader and every blog's entries are presented in an uncluttered, readable format. But those rss entries often direct me to other blogs that are not on my feed. Upon being taken to those "outside" blogs, I need only five, six seconds to decide whether the appearance is readable or not... Besides, I needed something to complain about.......

*2: I'm not even crazy about the dark background that surrounds the text on this page you're looking at. Presumably I'll be able to dump it when the webmaster switches me over to Movable Type version Whatever. [Note added long after: I wrote this when I was residing at my second website.]

Starting 2009 On The Right Note: Why We Drink: UPDATED

It's my first entry of 2009. I could think of a hundred things to write about. Rational drinking is as good a subject as any. I've had plenty to say about it in the past year or so. (*1)

I bring this up not because I'm suffering a new-year's-eve hangover, but because I just read Lew Bryson's thoughtful essay on drinking over at his blog, Seen Through A Glass. So I turn this first entry of 2009 over to Lew. After all, what's the blogosphere for if not sharing, giving credit where credit is due, and informing and educating each other? (When you "borrow" from someone else's blog, you DO mention your source and provide a link back to that person, right? Right???)

UPDATE: Alan from The Good Beer Blog promptly weighed in on Lew's ruminations on drinking. Worth reading, if only because Alan, like me, is a contrarian and I can always count on him to balk at The Party Line. But I will add my two cents, prompted by this part of Alan's post:

I have found myself leaving sessions far earlier than others for some time now, finding the second half of the night far less interesting than the outset. And I try to make sure there are many non-drinking activities in the social calendar hopefully giving beer the place somewhere closer to a treat than a daily necessity.

I don't think Lew was advocating drinking to excess, or even making drink the center of one's life. Rather, I think he was expressing frustration at the notion that having a drink is the same thing as being a drunk.

It's not. I'm an upright, decent human being, and I consume alcohol every day: a drink before dinner, wine or beer with, and a tot of good brandy, porter, or, rye, or scotch about 9 pm. I defy anyone to prove that I'm a bad person because of it, or that I'm unproductive. And I can't remember the last time I was drunk. (I think it was during a trip to New York in 1990 or 1991.)

What I do favor, however, are sensible attitudes toward drink: Don't drink too much. But by god and goddamnit, part of a sensible attitude toward drink is perspective. Don't equate "having a drink" with being a drunk. (That's not what Alan was saying, by the way, so I'm not picking on him.) The idiots among us ("Oh, I don't drink. I don't need alcohol to have fun.") don't (or won't) understand that good alcohol tastes good, and things that taste good produce pleasure.

As does the aftermath: I enjoy eating the fine chocolate, good steak, or a juicy orange, but I also enjoy how I feel AFTER I've ingested them.

So I will continue to enjoy drink and the pleasure it brings, just as I enjoy my family, watching the birds, walking, my thrice-weekly swims, 'Battlestar Galactica," and fresh fruit. Ha! I promised myself my first post of 2009 would be concise and cogent. I sure blew that.

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*1: Find the "Categories" index. Click on "rational drinking." Or, read my US News & World Report op-ed piece from early December.

The Yule Photo Winners

By the way, while my blog was "indisposed," Alan and Jeff announced the winners of the 2008 Yule Photo Contest. The photo I thought should Win Big did indeed win the UK grand prize. Anyway, you can see winning photos and their prizes here, here, here, and here. Those are all at Alan's blog.

For the UK winners only, visit Stonch's blog: Here (this was the photo I wanted to win). Here, and here. The photo that won the prize I offered is in this entry. Click on the thumbnail for a larger image. And congratulations to Nathan Fong and all the other winners.

Just In Time For New Year's Eve: Getting The Blog Back To Normal -- And Stocking Your Home Bar

I'm obsessive about saving, backing up, etc., and so I've been able to reconstitute some of the blog entries that got demolished in the Big Crash of '08. They're below, back-dated to their original posting dates. See here, here, and here.

Two shorter posts that vanished were holiday-connected, and so I'm reposting them in this entry: advice for the home bartender from Jacob Grier. Jacob, you may recall, is our resident drinks expert and, as important, our man-on-the-beat for cogent, up-to-the-minute rants-and-reporting about the nanny state. (*1)

For tips on bartending hardware, see Jacob's entry here. For his tips on the well-stocked bar, see this.

As I type this, it's December 30. You've still got time tomorrow to shop for tomorrow's celebration tomorrow.

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*1: Jacob is joined in these tasks by Jeffrey Morganthaler and the folk(s) at Cocktail Revolution.

When The E-World Goes Haywire; Or, My Unexpected, Unwanted, and Unpleasant Break From Blogging

Who knew that I'd be UPSET about a break from blogging? Who knew? Evidence that you can teach an old dog (me) new tricks (I once scoffed at blogging; now I'm an addict...)

Anyway. First, sincere thanks to all of you who wrote to inquire about the abrupt collapse of the blog. I appreciate that you cared. Sob. Snurfle. Getting all weepy here.

Second, I apologize up one side and down the other for the general weirdness of the past 12 days. I won't bore you with an explanation of what happened, but I had no control over it, did not know it would happen, and couldn't do anything about it. With any luck, it won't happen again.

Finally, there will be (I believe and hope) one more small change: My host must upgrade my blog to the new version of Movable Type, so at some point in the next few days or few weeks, the blog's appearance will change. (For, I believe, the better. It's pretty damn spartan here.) With luck (please e-gods, please be on my side this time), it won't be too disruptive. So again -- here's hoping and thanks for sticking with me.

My Plan For The Big Three Automakers

Here’s my plan for the Big Three Bailout (I’m serious, by the way. Obviously I have no clout and no contacts and no way to promote my plan, but that’s not stopping me from proposing it.)

So far all the talk has been about how much money should we-the-taxpayers ought to give the Big Three and under what conditions. I think that’s the wrong approach (obviously, or I wouldn’t be wasting my time and yours outlining my alternative.

Here’s my plan: First, let the companies fail.

Second, hire the Car Czar -- but make sure it’s someone from OUTSIDE the auto industry. My vote is for someone at Google, because, love ‘em or hate ‘em, those Google folks are smart, creative, and innovative. They invented the phrase “think outside the box.” (Not literally, but you get the idea.)

Third, put most of the money that would have gone to the companies into a special unemployment fund for all the people who will lose their jobs because the Big Three have shut down.

Fourth: use part of the money to have the Car Czar and his/her staff fund and organize “wisdom-and-planning groups,” which will consist of those laid-off auto industry employees: line workers, engineers, managers, designers, foremen and so on. Collectively, those people represent years of car-making wisdom. They’ve been on the front lines. They know what works and what doesn’t. Let them talk about and draw up plans for new, 21st-century automakers.

As plans solidify, the Car Czar will then begin re-hiring those same former auto-industry employees to help turn the plans into nuts, bolts, machine tools, and new cars.

Do I sound crazy? Maybe. But no crazier than the idea of giving the Big Three Dumbasses millions of dollars when they haven’t a clue what to do with it and will, mostly likely, come back in six months asking for more.