Denver Or Portland? Hippies Or Not? You Be the Judge

Well, I could see this coming: people rising to defend Portland as America's "beer central."

A few days ago, my globally ethical (ethically global??) pal Matthew alerted me to an article in the current issue of Time magazine, touting Denver as the best place to tour breweries and drink beer.

"Hmmm," I thought. "Someone's bound to challenge that claim -- because surely Portland, Oregon, wins the prize with no contest at all."

Sure enough -- the Portland defenders are on the job. See Stan's blog, which also references a blog I didn't know, Beervana.

But the Time article got my attention for something entirely different: Its characterization of "artisanal" brewers as hippies and Grateful Dead addicts...

Huh? I don't think so. (Well, okay, maybe craft brewing contains a disproportionate number of people who like the music of the Grateful Dead. But people stopped equating fondness for the Dead with being a hippie, oh, I dunno, maybe thirty years ago?) Laid-back hippie-tude doesn't cut it in craft brewing. The work's too hard and the industry is too brutal. That's a lesson learned that, historically (and what is my perspective except historical?), every homebrewer who tries to turn pro learns reaaaaaaaaaaaaal fast.

Besides which -- long hair and a beard do not a hippie make. I'm so old that I was there the first time around and I oughta know.

The Sculptures of Starr Kempf

This has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but: For reasons not worth mentioning, tonight my husband and I spent time remembering a long-ago trip to Colorado Springs. (We think this particular visit was c. 1990. Doesn't matter.) Anyway, we both still enjoy vivid memories of the Starr Kempf sculptures. If you've seen them, you know why we remember them with such clarity. If you've not seen them, they're worth a trip to C. Springs. He was an extraordinary artist. In either case, some online images of Kempf's work: The Kempf family page Even better images taken by a visitor. The Wikipedia entry.

Historical Tidbits: Lager Beer In 1869

When I'm researching a book, most of what I read doesn't make it into the final version of the manuscript. If I quoted from or referred to everything I found, my books would end up being 2,000 pages long and who the hell wants to read a doorstop? (Not me!) The result is that I have to pick and choose and I often leave out some juicy stuff.

I was reminded of that yesterday while working on my new book (which is about meat, not beer). I tracked down a copy of a book titled The Great Metropolis, which was published in 1869, because it contains a chapter on New York City's markets.

And then I remembered that this book also contained a chapter on lager beer gardens -- and that it was quite comical. Just the kind of thing you beer buffs might want to read -- and you can do so for free online. (Hooray for digital databases!) This book, and zillions of others, is at a website called Making of America, which is hosted by the University of Michigan and funded by the Andrew W. Mellon Foundation.

Frankly, the search mechanism is crude and clunky, so I'm creating a link that will take you directly to the chapter in the book itself. Just in case that link goes haywire (although I did test it): The site is Making of America. Once there, use the "browse" feature (not the little search box, which won't get you anywhere) to find a book called The Great Metropolis. The author is Junius Browne, and the lager beer chapter begins on p. 159. But the link above should take you straight to correct page. Enjoy!

Italian Beer At Russian River

Man, those people out in California are having way more fun than I am -- mainly because they spend a whole lotta time consuming fabulous food and drink. Now it's the always enjoyable Natalie and Vinnie Cilurzo at Russian River -- brewing up a flower-based Italian beer. You can read about and see photos of the proceedings at Jay's blog. It's his entry for April 12 titled "Italian Brew At Russian River."

Come to think of it, it's all Jay's fault. HE's the one having too much fun -- and he keeps telling the rest of us about it! No, maybe it's my fault. I keep reading his damn blog.............

Blogging IS Bad For Your Health

I dislike blogging. I do it, but I don't particularly like it. It's a necessary evil, part of the writer's deal these days, blah blah blah. I dislike because of the anxiety it provokes. This chronic unease that I must. post. something. TODAY.

Turns out, according to a recent piece in the New York Times, that I'm not imagining my blogging-induced anxiety. Mind you, unlike the people mentioned in the article, I'm not trying to make the top ten on Technorati or earn money from blogging. Either goal would deposit me for all eternity in a pit of insanity and anxiety. I try to save my angst, anxiety, and neuroses for the books I write.

But still................ I often wonder if, in, say, another ten years, people who are in their 20s and 30s now will experience an epiphany along the lines of: the incessant flash, scroll, glare, ding, ping, and hum of their email, cellphones, blackberries, and whatever else they're chained to visually and aurally has permanently wired them for anxiety and they've lost the capacity for "calm." Has left them, in short, about the same place as humans were 15,000 years ago when our species existed in a constant state of anxiety induced by the equally constant need to fight or flee.

Now THAT is a scary thought.

Dumbass Move of the Day, Week, Month, Century...

This story broke yesterday in the Wall Street Journal. That's a for-pay site, so I can't send you there, but here's a free although shorter and skimpier version of this tale of dumbassness in action.

In brief: Wal-mart hires small company named Flagler Productions to videotape in-house functions: sales meetings, annual meetings, gatherings of company honchos, etc. These are "unscripted" moments: male Wal-Mart execs dressed as women, singing and dancing on-stage to rally the company troops. Wal-Mart execs joking about unsafe gas cans sold at the stores. A Wal-Mart exec introducing Hillary Clinton as "one of us." (No doubt many of these tapes are already up and running at someplace like YouTube.) There are lots of such meetings and Wal-Mart becomes Flagler's main source of revenue. But in 2006, Wal-Mart dumps Flagler.

No surprise, the production company, having lost its main customer, nearly goes under. Until the owners realize something: Wal-Mart and Flagler never signed a contract stating the terms of their relationship. So Flagler owns the tapes. They can do whatever they want with them. Like sell copies to lawyers representing a family that is suing Wal-Mart for selling a particular kind of unsafe gas can. The same can that company execs made jokes about because it was, ya know, so unsafe.

All I gotta say is: This is truly THE dumbass move of the day, week, month. Hell, of the millenium. Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh, man. I mean, I'm not a lawyer. Not even in the ballpark. But even I would know enough to (a) sign a contract if I entered into a business relationship; and (b) create a contract guaranteeing from now to eternity Wal-Mart's ownership of said tapes. It'll be awhile before I find a dumbass move to top this one. Well, okay. Maybe not. After all, there's a presidential campaign going on and George Bush is still in the White House.......

Meantime, Wal-Mart, I hereby offer my services as a contract reader. My fee? A mere one-tenth of what you paid the company honcho that hired Flagler. And I guarantee my work. You know where to find me.